It sneaks up on me fast. One minute everything feels fine, and the next, my thoughts are spiraling in an exhausting cycle of guilt.
Guilt for not spending enough time with my kids. Guilt for spending too much time on housework, or not enough. Guilt for losing my patience. The list can get long.
I love being a mom, but figuring it out as I go is hard.
I wasn’t prepared to feel so much self-doubt with my firstborn. The birth didn’t go the way I planned, and I struggled with breastfeeding. Over time, I grew more confident in my parenting, and the worry eased.
Things were different with our second child, but I had new questions and concerns. I knew I needed more help.
This time, I relied more on friends and family for support. I joined an AP parent group. Everyone I asked was happy to offer tips and encouragement, and their support is helping me learn how to trust myself as a mother and to stop being so hard on myself.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that parenting is easier when you have the support of caring people around you. A strong support network is a part of a parent’s health. It’s like a second brain or a battery charger that allows us to focus our best energy in learning and doing our best parenting as we go.
Editor’s note: If you’re struggling with worry or other uncomfortable feelings anytime after giving birth or welcoming a child, you’re not a bad parent and you’re not alone. Caring, supportive people who understand what you’re experiencing make all the difference. Contact Postpartum Support International to connect with a professional counselor and local support.
(This post was inspired by “Attachment Parenting Doesn't Make Me a Perfect Parent,” 2012.)